i no longer possess the ability to trust. i have been lied to in an unforgivable way, and i will not mend easily. i may never heal. it is a hopeless, worthless, no good, down right crappy feeling. i don't even know how to pray for it to be better.
what do you do when you're too hurt to function? when pain consumes your mind and numbness sets into your body, but the tears keep falling... how do you stop it when the reality is that it will never get better? it will never be okay. it will always hurt. it will always be there. it will never go away. never change. never. never. forever is so long to hurt for...
how do i forgive? and, God.. how can i forget? i just want to forget. forget it all. forget the effort, the emotion, the time. everything. just gone. erased. stripped. how? how? how do i focus on the more important things.. the things that don't hurt? how do i pray? numb.
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